I’ll be home for Christmas

Holidays can be hollow and lonely without connections
Ill be home for Christmas

A life without holidays or breaks would be forgettable and repetitive. Thanksgiving and Christmas give us something to look forward to, but what should we do once preparations are complete? What should we do when the special day passes? 

Boredom is something I experience frequently because, unlike many of my peers, I do not have a close friend to hang out with. I am autistic and have selective mutism, making it difficult to make the type of connections that lead to lasting friendships. 

This is my perspective on filling in the days, weeks or months between holidays.

Holiday Highlights

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Christmas is a candle in a cold winter – a reason to smile and laugh in a season that, in Western literature, represents death. Hopefully, most students do not experience what I do; the holiday preparations at my home last about a month or two, and then life goes back to its usual, dull dragging of time. Sure, the Christmas presents might add a few short weeks of entertainment, but my presents tend to end up collecting dust. The primary benefit of Christmas in my eyes is a break from stressing over homework. If I could change how I spend the holidays, then I would leave the house for a while, but it is too cold outside to take walks. All in all, the holiday is worth it because it prevents life from overheating due to school and/or work. 

Christmas and other special days are usually about family and appreciation. This means celebrating with anyone you are familiar with should be a great way to spend the holidays. 

The enemy of boredom is a lack of expectations; it is nearly impossible to know what someone will say next in a conversation. 

However, people do not talk to me at all because of the unfriendly appearance of my resting face, which lacks expression because I am autistic, and my total silence, so nobody can tell if I am bored or entertained. Also, some of my autistic traits, like limited interests and social awkwardness, do not help me make and keep friendships. 

I would spend Christmas with a group of close friends if I could, because people are easier to remember than decorations and presents. 

Importance of Memory

Try to imagine packing all of your best memories into a present. If all of your days blended together into some colorless abomination, then what could you give to yourself? There has to be at least one memory you can rely on to feel better. An example is the smile of a close friend. 

Boredom is a lonely pit. I feel emptier than usual when I cannot get myself to do something without thinking about it being too boring. Even during the holiday season, there will be times where 10 minutes feel like an hour. 

Free Time

Something that almost everyone would recommend when it comes to spending free time might be reading, watching TV or cleaning. I would like to suggest something else: My favorite way to pass time is to daydream. Daydreaming can happen anywhere as long as you are not distracted or sleeping. 

Personally, I focus on a character and have them act out a scene or two. You could make up a character, form your ideal self or take a pre-existing character from one of your favorite stories. You can look for inspiration from books, television and music. I even listen to music to have my characters portray powerful emotions or display their personalities. Sometimes, I imagine my ideal self having so much power she could dribble the planet like a basketball player. 

There is a problem with having too many potential activities to relieve boredom. As you think about what you should do, you might imagine yourself engaging in the activity and lose interest because there is apparently nothing new. For example, I could read a book I did not finish, play a video game I did not complete or rearrange my room a little, but I would end up falling into boredom and wondering what I should do to entertain myself. While I am lying in bed wondering what to do, I could daydream about a story I would like to mentally edit. 

Daydreaming is flexible, but it relies on your imagination. A holiday as bright and colorful as Christmas might be a great time to start imagining. Still, it would be nice to have someone to imagine with. 

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